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Thursday, May 5, 2016

camp letter



If your parent went on camp, please write a letter to another person and give your own parent a big hug next time you see them.
_______________________________________________________________________________


14 / 3 / 2016
>
Kauri / Rimu
Yaldhurst Model School
Christchurch Dear rusty carrot
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(Paragraph 1): In this paragraph you introduce yourself and thank the person for being at camp (at least 30 words).We Are Learning To:

Use paragraphs for each new idea
Use interesting words
Edit our writing wit
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Key words: enjoyed, fantastic, awesome, challenging, tiring, delicious, scrumptious, crazy, parents, Hammer Springs, Forest Camp
>Hi my name is Saxon. I am from Yaldhurst School , thank you for the food. The food was delicious, thank you again Rusty Carrot for lunch and tea. Good luck for the other schools that you give food to.
(Paragraph 2): In this paragraph you tell your person what you enjoyed about camp and what you remember most about the person that you are writing to (at least 60 words).


Key words: hydro slide, tree climbing, waterfall track, mountain, mission impossible, orienteering, grass, Conical Hill, paint game, lazy river, Rusty Carrot, Activity Hammer, swimming, hot pools, thermal, sliding, water slide, cabins, tiring, tidying

I enjoyed your lasagna, steak and cheese pies and your pasta. I remember when you told us about what country  you were from. I wish I had more of the food because it was so yummy. thank you again so much I would think everyone else would like you from the other schools would like your food too. Thank you Rusty Carrot.

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(Paragraph 3): In this paragraph you ask the person some questions about their camp experience. These should be questions that you actually want an answer to (at least 30 words).


Key words: who what why where how

Where is the Rusty Carrot company from? Why did you work for Rusty Carrot? How do you get so much food? What is your favorite food? Who is your boss.
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(Paragraph 4): This is the concluding paragraph where you thank the person again for taking part, sum up your feelings about camp this year and end with a positive comment about the person (at least 30 words).


Key words:

Thank you again for giving us food for camp, I really like you Rusty Carrot because you are nice and respectful. So thank you again Rusty Carrot, your food was great!

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Yours sincerely
Saxon    
When you have finished writing your letter:

1. Read it out loud to yourself.
- Does it make sense?
- Do I need to add or change anything?
2. Have a buddy reading conference.
- Use the sheet in your writing book.
3. Make any changes you need to.
- Use tools and fix spelling.
4. Add some pictures from above.
- Or ask Mr M if he has some others you could use.
5. Mark your recount using the rubric below.
6. Get a buddy to mark your recount using the rubric.
7. Ask Mr M to mark your recount.
8. Post your recount on your learning blog.
9. Comment on the recounts on other blogs.
- Remember to use the shared blog comment sheet


Marking My CAMP LETTER

What I need to do
Me
/ 5
Buddy / 5
Mr M
/ 5
1. PARAGRAPHS
Each paragraph is about ONE main idea.
4
5
5
2. SENTENCE STARTERS
Sentences begin with different words.
5
4
3
3. VOCABULARY
The right words (key vocab) have been used to add detail and say exactly what you mean, and make sense.
5
5
3
4. LANGUAGE
Writing makes sense.
My writing flows smoothly.
4
4
4
5. PUNCTUATION
Capitals are used when needed.
Full stops are used at the end of sentences.
EXTRA: Commas, question marks, speech marks and exclamation marks used in the right places ( . , ! ? " ").
5
4
3
6. HOW DID I DO?
Total points (of 25 points)
23
22
18
Me: Star and a wish
Star:it is nice and long
Wish:make it simple
Buddy: Star and a wish
Star: I like how you thought of the other schools and people
Wish:remember to use capital letters
Mr M: Star and a wish
Star: I know that Rusty Carrot will enjoy this letter, Saxon, because you are saying such positive things about their food. You have also shown that you are thinking and using interesting detail and ideas in your letter.
Wish: Start your sentences with a wider range of words. Make sure that proper nouns (names, places, countries) have a capital letter. Also try to use different types of punctuation.


3 comments:

  1. I am glad you enjoyed the camp food as often people do not. It sounds like there was a great variety of food. What would be one addition that you would have liked on the menu?

    It is nice that you have stated your appreciation so nicely. I look forward to your next blog post.

    ReplyDelete

Comments
Please structure your comments as follows:
Positive - Something done well
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